Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Breaking News: Ebay Sells Haunted Items



I know that I am constantly wondering "Where can I get some quality haunted items in this godforsaken city?" Unfortunately, my questions are never taken seriously in conversation, and rarely responded to. Then, in a stroke of what can only be described as the best luck in the history of all time, I stumbled across this article and realized that I AM NOT ALONE. 
In fact, at this very moment you can go to Ebay and for the mere price of $95.00 ( buy it now!!!!) you can possess your very own RARE HAUNTED ITEM MAGNIFICENT CRYSTAL FAIRY SPIRIT ANTIQUE FIANITE STERLING RING.

This is listed in the private paranormal collection of seller "studiaizida" (sexual name? random name? fairy name?), who has an incredible 99.7% positive feedback on all items sold. This can only mean that this HAUNTED FAIRY RING is the real deal! There are a couple other haunted items with much more sinister descriptions, but this ring might be my favorite because of the intense backstory that comes with it (from a Shaman and Reiki Master!!!) about the magical fairy that haunts said ring and comes out if you have telepathic powers/or not! It isn't that clear. Also the bamboo edge to the paper with the description was distracting me. Seriously, check this page out.

Fairy Crystal Haunted Magic Page of Hilarity

Look at this beauty.


"Haunted Fairy Ring" is the perfect description for this, amirite? Classic haunted fairy.

Here are some more amazing haunted items.


"Haunted Paranormal Doll" -- Really? You don't sound too excited there, "theuglybugball." Where is your description IN ALL CAPS?!?!?!


HAUNTED CLOWN DOLL YOU ARE MY NIGHTMARE.

My favorite of all-time might be the "Haunted Angel Fairy Wings" that are clearly from a cheap Halloween store--the description adamantly states that they are "NOT FOR A SUCCUBUS."
I think I'll order them to see for sure.